Loss

The memorial service for my Papaw was held Friday 7/17/10, over a hundred people were in attendance. I saw my father cry for the first time. We were watching the slide show of photos go by, I mentioned to my dad that my favorite one of him and Papaw (his dad) was coming up. I looked over at him and he was crying. I apologized and said I didn't think. I've seen these photos before but he hadn't, not all together like that. Not only have I lost my grandpa, my dad has lost his dad. I was talking to Memaw on the phone today and she mentioned that she was going through some cards today. The Father's Day card Daddy gave to Papaw this year, typically he just signed Love Rick. This year he wrote "I love you Daddy". Memaw was crying as she told me this. I know that everyone has to go sometime, but I was thinking today what would I do if I lost my girls. How would I be able to go on if something happened to either one of them. Or them if I died while they were still young. Sadly death has been on my mind a lot these days. After the memorial was over we all went out for ice cream at Braums. I found it a bit ironic because one of (many) the great joys in Papaw's life was taking his sweet wife to Braums and eating a banana split. It was very weird to be there without him. Papaw had such life. He was big, tall, and loud. He had massive hands and a massive voice. He had great love for his family, especially his sweet wife.

I just came from Memaw's house to loan her a pack of toilet paper. She seemed a tiny bit more at peace tonight. It's a roller coaster though. She will be okay one minute and then she will get this look sad look on her face. I know who she's thinking about so I don't say anything. She needs to work through her grief her way. She said today that she didn't accomplish anything, and Sheila didn't make her get up and do anything so she didn't. Haha

I will include my poem now.